Sharing disappointment

"Michael was fun - until he stopped drinking!"

Laughter.

And that's how I feel. Except I didn't stop drinking, and no one said that.

But the first Saturday night out without occasional smoke breaks was a nightmare. Everything was otherwise the same. We sang the same songs, drank the same drinks, were surprised, saw all types, table sang - even Rex was there, perhaps the most fun person ever.

Something was missing, like I had otherwise been taking a bubble bath that this week was drained.

The whole day was like this, really. I got plenty of sleep, came to orgasm with a man in my bed around 10:30, and was not hungover or dehydrated or malnourished. Well, I take it back. I could have been dehydrated.

I really need to find someone that enjoys having me around without smoke breaks. As it is, my friends don't notice, probably because they were so used to me before. This struggle is inside. Maybe I need another stupid haircut.

Kimberly said, "You can have one."

I was better at fitting in when I smoked. I was sexier. I was happy then.